Of Lost Love and Poetry

heartaches + words

Archive for the month “July, 2013”



Where is this thing called hope that fuels
the heart that is put on hold?
No warmth touches its halls but icy tendrils
of smoke fill its chambers.
The lights that once hold back the shadows
are no longer shining bright.
Just darkness and silence are left
chilling the heart, making it hard, cold as stone.
Everything we’ve done, you’ve undone,
your indifference and feigned interest kills.
All the dreams we’ve built you’ve destroyed,
all it took was your mocking silence that ruined it all.
Reaching out was like touching a brick wall,
unyielding, unbending, towering above me.
There is no room for me of that I am sure,
now that we’re coming undone.
The strings we’ve tied are already unraveling,
faster than it took us to bind one another with them.
The fire we’ve started is already dying down,
you’ve trampled and dispersed it with your feet.
All that’s left are the ashes of our past and my hopes,
burned to the ground, blown by the wind,
gone forever.

-Little Ink Elf 072413-


Lie in the shadows, alone with your thoughts,
no light penetrates the gloom, just darkness on
Trying to break free of the bonds,
holding you down, holding you tight,
keeping you chained by your own doubts,
imprisoning you from within.
No light can reach the shroud of shadows you wear,
covering eyes that no longer see,
the future and everything that can be hoped for,
just the vast emptiness of the heart,
where the sounds of despair only echo in its infinite

-Little Ink Elf 072113-

Now I understand, your world is not mine.
I tried to get in but the locks don’t match my keys.
I’m standing at your front step knocking on your door,
yet no one came to answer my call.
Not a hint of your shadow by the window,
your silence answering my hellos.
Just me and my wishful thinking
that you’ll want me in your world too.
Time has passed and all I see
is your world’s door barred from within.
There is no sign that you heard me,
or even the sound of my tears falling,
so I’ll leave you something to remember me by.
A piece of my heart you’ve broken
with your silence and your lies.

-Little Ink Elf 071513-

Absence of You

It was easy to pretend that your absence doesn’t matter,
but why do my eyes burn with tears threatening to fall?
It was easy to disguise this empty feeling I know is inside me,
no one knows, not even you, my darling dear.
I can bear the pain, wear a smile, and let others forget the reason why,
I’m in my room burying myself in the shadows that loom.
Call me all kinds of crazy, hell, I do that all the time.
It’s the absence of you that’s making me laugh and cry,
never knowing when will this stop, when can I smile.

-Little Ink Elf 071313-


Take back those words that you haunt my dreams
for they cripple me with distaste and displeasure
as nightmares come and creep
holding me down, holding me tight.
Such words that aim to hurt aren’t meant
to cross your lips,
such sweet lips that once settled on mine own.
Poisoned words that drip with every utterance
has consumed the very best in me,
as they send me reeling back with a frightened heart
beating like a drum that echoes inside my head
as your words vibrate and resonate with
the madness and darkness that you called love.
Even as I cover my ears I can still hear
those dangerous words you speak relentlessly
pursuing me in my dreams.
Words that were once coated with passion
no longer give me the warmth that I crave for.
All that is left is the cold winter’s chill,
like death’s kiss placed on pale cheeks.
Where is the fire that burned my senses
every time your lips part to tell me the words
I longed to hear?
Where is that spark that sends those shivers
down my spine?
Did you even feel them at all or was it all in my head?

-Little Ink Elf 070913-

Switching to Silence

Voices all around, whispering and screaming
the very thoughts that run wild in the night,
as the moon bright and full breaks out from behind
dark clouds that obscure its yellowed face,
to fuel the howlings of the mind trapped
within a mind drowning in its own muddled world.
Raging against the rapidly rushing sounds
of heartaches and triumphs masked in lies and truths,
beating in tandem with a heart that befriended pain
and bedded down with solitude and loneliness,
curling up in a ball of wasted emotions seeking silence
yet enveloped in words written in madness.
Hard to switch to silence when the mind is awashed
with reddish hues of swirling, hungry emotions,
but then it burns and burns until the flames no longer hurt,
leaving nothing but the iciness of emptiness
and the savage silence of a mind gone over the edge
where words no longer form, emotions already gone
just the silence, blessed silence, cyring in the night.

-Little Ink Elf  070713-


now we are at a crossroad, our destination so unsure.
should we walk separate paths or linger on the same
where we go today we can’t say, were still waiting to
give an answer.
can’t we stay on this path to forever?
or must we break our hold and forge alone
a future that might be bleak without the warmth we
enveloped in our arms that we held around each

-Little Ink Elf 070413-

No more lines to burn, no more words to be written
no more images of you to go back to as I burn them all away.
No more sadness, no more tears, but the pain is all too real.

What am I to you that you care not for the words I’ve spoken?
Leaving me hanging, lost and wondering?
Waiting in vain for answers to questions spoken,
but silence reigns in between the lines already fading.

No more smiles lingering, no more laughter ringing,
just anger slowly boiling, reaching towards its release.
No more waiting for patience is stretched too thin,
already at the breaking point, straining to keep a lid on it.

-Little Ink Elf 070313-



golden liquor that runs down parched throat,
sending senses reeling away from reality.
a touch of sadness can be seen upon eyes
that try to plumb this liquor’s mysteries.
bubbles float and foam forms,
on still surface that glistens against the light.
mirroring eyes red in the aftermath of tears,
trying to strengthen false courage with every sip
from the lips of its ice cold beer.
trying to be brave, trying to live even when its
heart knows it has already lost the war that love
has forced upon it.
with red rimmed eyes and cracked lips whispering
its hurts to deaf ears of its liquid companion,
drowning its heart, drowning its soul,
losing sanity, breaking down, breaking apart.

-Little Ink Elf 070113-


like a dream that is starting to fade
your face no longer do I remember,
only the illusion of you gets left behind
and one that is tearing me apart.
your beauty is starting to disappear
yet I keep on clinging to the idea
of a picture perfect beginning
that I want to start with you.
I’m in over my head
I feel like I’m drowning in your secrets
where only your truth I’m hoping for
will save me from this swirling nightmares
that you’ve tossed me into.
this dream that I often see
when I close my eyes is already taking its toll
on my senses yearning for one thing
right from the start.
that you’ll find time to make me feel
the kind of love that I’m hoping for
without lies and deceit
nor walls to bar me from discovering the real you
I know you’ve kept under lock and key
because I know you’re just like me too
afraid of the world and all the hurts
when all we ever wanted was a chance to feel
the kind of love we’ve always hoped for.

-Little Ink Elf 062813-

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